• @tattooedbibliophile

Working with Bitches by Meredith Fuller



Full title: Working with Bitches: Identify the Eight Types of Office Mean Girls and Rise Above Workplace Nastiness


ISBN: 978-0738216584


Publisher/date: Da Capo Lifelong Books (March 26th 2013)


Genre: Women & Business

I was sent this book by a friend on Twitter who saw a post I made about the ladies in my office being, well, kind of mean to me for no reason, and she thought I would be interested in the book. And she was right, I bought it immediately. I'm not big into self help books, but I wanted something to help me win over the two women in my office so we could all get along and work as a team.


So about 1/4 of the way into this book I felt like the author should have made a differentiation between a "bitch" and "bitchy behavior." Because TBH, by this read, everyone I've ever met is a bitch, myself included. Not that I can't be an asshole. It's kind of a job requirement for me. But if you're more comfortable working with men because you've always worked in a male-centric workplace, bitch. Under a high amount of stress to get things done and push employees to pick up the slack? Bitch. Insecure in your new position because you've got impostor syndrome? You bitch.


But here's the thing. I get that you are only in control of your own behavior and no one else's. I get that sometimes no matter what you do, you won't be able to change someone's opinion of you. But a lot of this book was about how to emotionally deal with the stress of having women bully you in the workplace. More on that in a sec. I suppose maybe I was looking for a magical answer, a Dale Carnegie type deal about "how to make women like you." I've never really had that skill, but have always wanted it. I've just always been good at shutting down feelings at work, because that's the best way to deal with men. Women are a different story. And this book really didn't give me any insight on how to win them over.


Because it is possible. I've had lots of women dislike me in a new workplace. I'm shy around new people, have an unfortunate resting bitch face, and tend to get along with men easier. I also am a manager and often come in with a higher position than women older than me. But over time, they learn that I am not actually a bitch, I treat everyone with kindness and respect, and am really a weird and awkward person who does not threaten them in any way. After they get to know me, I'm generally ok. There are probably very few women out there who want to be labeled as the office bitch, I think it's more that they don't realize what they're doing. Nobody wants to be a bad person. So it is possible to win women over. It just takes time, and I was looking for something quicker.


Now let's talk about bullying. In the book, it differentiates bullying and bitchiness. And we all kind of inherently know the difference. Bullying is big and often forceful and loud. Bitchiness is quiet and insidious, "a thousand small cuts" instead of a big noticeable one. Bitchiness is making someone feel unwelcome and small, in tiny ways that feel too petty to complain about. Something that you know if you brought to HR that would reflect more poorly on you than the perpetrators. But the result is the same. So to me, it's still bullying, it's just harder to pinpoint.


This book is about dealing with the bitchiness form of bullying in the workplace by just dealing with it, not trying to change it. Maybe if this book was written like a Dale Carnegie book, "How To Win Women Over And Decrease Office Bitchiness," "The 14 Day Bitchy Cure," or something like that, it would have been more helpful to me, and I think more people would pick it up. Why? If anyone bitchy reads this book, they will immediately put it down, because they will recognize themselves as the enemy, and everyone is the hero of their own story. If it was geared more toward "bitchy behavior in the office and how to not be a part of it," I think it would do more toward curing the epidemic.


Of course it all goes back in the end to raising a generation of kids who recognize bullying and put a stop to it.


3 stars, it was ok, but not life changing.

©2019 by Tattooed Bibliophile. Proudly created with Wix.com