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The Nevernight Chronicle by Jay Kristoff



Book 1: Nevernight

Book 2: Godsgrave

Book 3: Darkdawn 


Publisher: St. Martin's Press


Adult Fantasy / YA but rated R*


You know, I need to learn to write the review on the first book in a series before I start the next book, so that I can keep them straight and avoid spoilers entirely, which is always my goal.  But sometimes you just have to devour books like a dementor devours souls, you know?  I always feel like reviewing the last book in a series is useless.  Most of us are going to get to the last book if we finished the others, unless we absolutely hated them, and then nobody else's opinion is likely to sway our choice.  Either way it's already decided.  BUT if you haven't read the series yet, I will now try to give you a review that doesn't spoil even the first book for you.  This will be done entirely in quotes from Darkdawn.


"Don't fuck with librarians, young lady. We know the power of words."


I would read a book solely by knowing the above quote was in it.



"The shape I wear is born of you, the thing I became is because of you, and if I must do what you will not, so be it. At least you will be alive to hate me..."


Doesn't this sound just like something a cat would say?



"If this were any more obviously a fucking trap, they'd have a row of high-priced courtesans dancing in Liisian lingerie atop it, singing a rousing chorus of 'this is obviously a fucking trap.'"


I was in the car driving when this quote came up in the audio book, and I about spit my drink out laughing.



"I swear by all that is holy, if you tell me that she dwells in the temple of my heart, we're going to find out if people can come back from the dead twice."


Don't you love Jay Kristoff's sarcastic ass humor?  I DO.



"And the more I live it, the more I realize that 'deserve' has nothing to do with this life."


PREACH.



"It has footnotes.  What kind of wanker writes a novel with footnotes?"


Jay has gotten a lot of flack for writing so many footnotes, and I highly enjoy it when he takes his trolls to church!!!



"The books we love, they love us back."


Except maybe the ones collecting dust on my TBR shelf...



Have you ever spoken to someone multiple times over email, and realized that they write just like they talk?  I always enjoy it more when I see someone's personality come out in their writing.  Sometimes it's difficult to see the author behind the words, but reading these books, I feel like I got to know and love Jay Kristoff.  Ya'll, he literally took things people trolled him about and put them back into his books.  I love that kind of smartarsery. Love it. Jay, if you ever want to be friends, look me up, I think we'd get along great.  (And get into more trouble than Ashlinn and Mia in a Liisian brothel.)


One last thing to add.  I've seen many people on social media that just cannot get past the footnotes to enjoy the book, or even (*gasp*) skip them entirely and miss all the hilarity hidden throughout the story.  For those of you who have tried and failed to get past them, I highly recommend the audio books, where Holter Graham narrates through them so seamlessly that I cannot imagine the books without them.  I'll admit, at first it was odd having a male narrator when the protagonist is female, but it eventually makes sense when you get further into the story.


4.5 / 5 stars, and I'm only deducting that half a star because JAY.  WHAT ABOUT TRIC????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


P.S. Chapter 18 was completely useless to the story and simultaneously the best chapter ever written. If I'm having a bad day I'll just go back and read it. Jay, you have a sick mind. And I thank you for it.


*Look, my own fucking footnote! Jay insists this is not YA, and I get that, it's extremely mature with sex scenes and violence. Unfortunately, the book genre system we have is deeply flawed, and if the protagonist is a young adult, the book is considered YA. I don't agree with it but there it is. Can you imagine how fucking quickly I hit the pause button when Chapter 55 of ACOMAF started playing in my car with my BLOODY KIDS WITH ME?! Faster than a shadow cat's witty tongue, that's for damn sure. Someone seriously needs to come up with a better system! So if you find it in the YA section, buyer beware.

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